Oh. I don't know what to do.
I'm so bored. and so busy.
There's too much happening right now.
I need to quit smoking. I need to get laid.
I need to get into school.
I need to forget about him.
- No wait. Already did that one.
I need to stop being so bitter about it.
And I really really have to clean my room.

This world is depressing and slow.
I want things to keep moving. Everything's standing still.
Perfection left me so long ago.
And I still want it.
WHY?
For fuck's sake...why?
He hates me, made that pretty fuckin clear.
I wish I wasn't so blind towards it. I wish I didn't hope for something better to happen.
And I wish he'd understand that I'm not trying to be a bitch.
But I can't talk to him, look at him, hear him, without wondering what could have been.
As much as I want him to disappear, I wish he'd always be here.

But then again. He's never here. I just hear about him through other people.
People who have no idea what transpired. No idea of how he used me and how I used him.
It couldv'e been fuckin perfect. He was the epitome of it. For a week.
Maybe he just doesn't realize how amazing he is. Doesn't realize how heartbreaking it is when he acts the way he does.

I wish I had him before all those other girls screwed him up so badly.
Maybe then he'd appreciate all that I gave him.