w.h.y.

i can't help but hate the fact that you love someone else more.
i can't help but hate everything about you and still wish you were mine.
i can't help but hate the fact that you're a complete loser with no ambition.
i can't help but hate the fact that i care about you so much and you don't give two shits about me.
i can't help but hate the fact that you cheated my heart and somehow it doesn't matter anymore.
i can't help but hate the fact that anything i say, think or do will never change you, and somehow i keep wishing that it will.
i can't help but hate the fact that i'm still in love with you and i can't do anything about it.

why can't i get you outta my head?

according to the psychoanalytic theory devised by Freud, it's because i'm 'obsessed' with you.
I am.
i'm obsessed with loving you.
i'm obsessed with caring for you.
i'm obsessed with wanting to be your one and only.

and yet.
i've moved on.
and i have heart-space for others.
but you.still manage to have a huge chunk of something that truly isn't yours anymore.
but somehow, i ain't fighting back.

w
h
y

do you make this so hard for me?

i hate you.
i love you.

i wish we could just give this all up and go back to what we used to be.
and i wish.
that we could forget what happened and make it like it was before we met.

which is healthier?
which makes me smile?
neither.
both have negative endings.
i either.
know something bad will end it all.
or.
know that i'm missing something.

what is to be done?
and what isn't to be done?