broken pieces...

so. my day so far has been okay-ish. i'm still trying to get used to the fact that i'm an hour behind the rest of my life and that no one has the time of day. sadly. it's like. i work all day and i seem to have all this spare time that i do nothing with. and within that time frame, everyone else is too preoccupied. i'm also trying to deal with stubborn individuals who are without a doubt frustrating me purposely. i hate the fact that i care so fuckin much. there is no deceny among the people in my life. it's like, i sacrifice my mind, my time, everything...and then there are those who just don't give a shit and constantly beat at the pieces of my heart until they're fine dust and blow away in the wind. i wish i had the will to reciprocate. and i think sometimes i do, unknowingly, and the effect is mind-blowing yet still unheard of to me. anyhow. so today i was listening to the radio (once again...big surprise!) and there was this pastor talking about the disaster in new orleans. he said this: 'earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.' i was suprised at the truth in this statement. it doesn't only apply to the natural rebellion of mother earth, but also daily, trivial events that occur in each and every persons life. it's so sad. to think that we can't even manage, with our g-d-given abilities, to heal ourselves from the inside. so many broken souls tread the path of life, yet no one wants to fix anything. why must we leave everything to the holy father and his angels to heal all our unwanted blemishes within ourselves? why is it that death is the only answer to forgiveness? i have no concept of this matter. i have misunderstandings and personal beliefs that stop me, as an individual, from managing my mind. so i've been told that i think too much, this was noticed by someone who thought that i had too many lines on my hands. her belief, religious or not, was that those who have many lines, think many thoughts. i don't disagree, but i don't agree either. when you come across a person whom only has a few lines, does that mean that they don't think enough? does that mean that their thought processes are simple and narrow? what does that mean? what is the determining factor...who set the fine line between too much and too little? if it is all in what we think and believe, then one should be able to accomplish all that they want. but why do we have those that can't get past a sleeping bag and a paper cup to lead their lives? why do we have so many questions, so little answers...why is there no parallels anymore? good and bad, ugly and beautiful, sick and healthy, sane and insane, hot and cold, everything. personal truth be told, i think that g-d gave us the ability to create and solve our own problems. we create our own idiosyncrasies that always lead to our demise. so why wait for heaven? peace on earth, something so many try to obtain. working as a whole is impossible when there are those that believe in difference and change. and we break. we all break. not just you, not just me. but all of us. slowly and steadly. so as i walk, down this path of life, or something like it, i lay my pieces down. i expose myself. i don't want no hansel n'gretel picking them up to lead me home. i leave a little bit of me everywhere i tread. noticed or unnoticed it is undeniable the imprints we leave on our surroundings. leave my pieces alone, they will settle and with everything i can will within me, they will create difference, change, hope, love, everything. everything that we need we can give. we have the power to heal, we have the power to hurt, we have the power to change, we have the power to do all that was set out for us. when we think about giving up, think about the divine power that set you about this place we call home. everything we have been given, everything that we are, is here for a reason. do not diminish the flame before the candle has burned. we will manifest to be the greatest of our moment. if we have the chance. and since we create these chances, use them wisely. for as far as personal experience can lead us, i myself know that it's not worth giving up, it's not worth ignoring the signs that will make you a better person. nothing is worth more than your life.